Things are always so much cuter when they’re little… like me for instance.  Sure I would be cute if I was a huge 100 lb dog.  But I’m even cuter as an 8 lb puppy!  I don’t want to sound so full of myself so consider this… what human doesn’t melt when you see a newborn baby?!  You all do it.  Sure my master refuses to hold any of these adorable little babies but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t think they’re cute.  He just doesn’t want them to get too attached to him ;)  He knows his puppy is # 1 in his book. 

I’m sure you all have your soft spot for the small things.  Just don’t pick on us little folks when deep down you know how cute we are!  Am I right?!  Things are always so much cuter when they’re little?!  Fill in the blank with ANYTHING in the following question and I think you’ll agree… Who doesn’t like a minature version of __________ ?  See, no matter what you put in the blank the answer is the same, you absolutely love minature stuff!  Just like all those ladies that collect the minature figurines.  We don’t know what to do with them, but we love ‘em!

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I don’t know much about football so pardon my puppy-like ignorance.  I was hanging out at the house this past week reading the paper while my master was at work (go ahead and ask my master what I do on the newspaper while he’s gone) and I see that the Bengals are starting training camp.  I’m relieved to know that these guys go through a training camp before the beginning of the season because (nothing personal but…) some of these guys are really out of shape.

Then I see the words Who Dey in the paper.  Well, I’m not even sure that one of these is a word - dey?  I don’t see how this is something to chant when you are trying to cheer for a team.  It sounds more like a question.  Any statement that begins with who, what, where, when, or why is probably going to end in a question mark.  Why would you yell questions at your team. 

Ok, so my master tells me this saying is derived from some local beer.  As a puppy I’m not yet old enough to drink.  Perhaps when I turn 3 (or 21 in people years) I will understand this cheer a little better.  Maybe these people are just trying to get the beer man’s attention during the game. 

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So sue me, I don’t like to drink out of public water fountains.  I don’t see why that’s so hard for some people to understand!  I would rather drink out of the lake at Winton Woods (and note that I often do) since it has some nice added ingredients that make it taste better.  But public drinking fountains… that’s just a huge germ factory filled with slobber and mucus. 

I was walking tonight with my master at Winton Woods and just before we got to the water fountain we passed these two ogar-looking mutts.  Their noses and tounges were still dripping from where they did everything but dunk their entire head in the bowl.  So rude.  If they didn’t weigh about 100 lbs. more than me I probably would’ve told them what I thought about their drinking habits.  But then I remembered that I didn’t care because I was more interested in getting to sniff all the good stuff around the water fountain while my master tries to intice me to drink from it.  I swear sometimes I think he’s out to poison me, or perhaps he just doesn’t realize what kind of dogs drink out of those things. 

I’ll admit that I am a bit of a spoiled pup when it comes down to it.  Most dogs wouldn’t hesitate to drink out of something like that.  But I’m a purebred, I do what I can to keep this awesome physique.

We all have our own hangups or quirks… what are some of yours?!

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As someone pointed out in the comments section of my website, I am naked in the photo of me blogging (July 24th post).  It’s true, I admit it… and I’m not ashamed.  I like to blog in the buff.  I am a free spirit.  I enjoy the cool breeze from the central air blowing through the fur that’s between my toes.  I would rather chew on my collar and the jingle-y things hanging from it instead of wearing it.  Although if I MUST wear a collar, which I’m at least required to do so at Winton Woods, I am glad I have a sporty little Miami University collar.  I only wish the Reds were doing better this season so I wasn’t so embarrassed to wear that one.

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I took yesterday off from blogging to chew on a femur bone that my good friends (Rob, Tricia, Andrew, and Aggie) were kind enough to give me as a doghouse warming gift.

I realized that while I have numerous photos available for you to view, most of these are staged shots or poses.  I decided I should post an action shot of me actually blogging. 

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I’m sure most of us would agree that Lassie really paved the way for animal actors in America.  I mean, the dog had its own self-titled show.  At least Lassie paved the way for us canines.  Mr. Ed was there to help the equestrian folks out but for us pups, we really look up to the old sheep herder as a pioneer.  After Lassie (the tv show) we still had to wait quite a while till we got Rin Tin Tin K-9 Cop and the German Shepherds just don’t do the acting gig quite as well as the rest of us.  Let’s face it, Rinny wasn’t exactly a canine version of McGuiver or anything.  But I guess Lassie (the dog) set the bar pretty high for the rest of us… I mean, the dog knew how to get a kid out of well… think about that for a second.  We send entire fire departments out to do that kind of stuff these days!

Sure we’ve had some film success, too, so our canine qualities are not just limited to after school specials and sit coms.  I have heard many good things of the feature dogs in Turner & Hooch, 101 Dalmations, Beetoven (all million editions of them!), Air Bud (once again, a slew of movies with deviated titles), Milo & Otis, and Lady & the Tramp.  I could go on and on about how we have propped up the film industry for years… working for literally scraps.

After Rin Tin Tin, we really didn’t see a great stand out canine in show business until Frasier came along.  Eddie, the dog on the show, provided the comic relief.  Without him, it would have been a lifeless show about pyschology and a series of one mid-life crisis after another.  Eddie, whose real name was Moose, was a Jack Russell Terrier that I admire for his decade-long career in show business.  May he rest in peace.

It’s because of my admiration of Moose, and even his son Enzo who also made appearances on Frasier in his dad’s place from time to time, that I have decided to launch my film career.  I intend on auditioning for a role in the upcoming movie Joy.  It was recently announced that this movie would be (at least partially) filmed here in the greater Cincinnati area.  I will keep you updated on my attempts at launching my film career.  Perhaps I will also evaluate my options for a singing career, too.

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What a fantastic day!!!  My master, bless his heart, took it upon himself to cut every single branch that he could possibly reach off of the two pine trees behind our house today…

It literally rained sticks for 3 hours.

My tail hurts from wagging so much.  My master’s tail hurts from trimming those trees!

Then to top it off… we got to go for a ride in the car :-D  Yippeee

Washed the car, took a nice long walk around the neighborhood so I could smell everything… yeah, I like the weekends.  It’s days like this that I’m thankful that I’m a puppy!

Oh, I found a website where they make furniture out of sticks.  Sticks.com makes all sorts of edible furniture.  I’m hoping for a comfy ottoman to lay on!  Perhaps my master will make good use of all those sticks in our backyard and build some edible furniture.  Well, it might not be edible to him, but furniture made out of sticks… it’s like those plates and cups that you can eat!  It would be edible furniture for me at least.

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I had never heard of this Michael Vick guy until just yesterday, but already I don’t like him.  Apparently he has a pretty RUFFed up sense of fun and entertainment.  What kind of sick ARFggot goes around making dogs fight each other till one of them dies, only to then kill the winner if he or she is too wounded to fight another day?!  This sick BARKhole, that’s who.

So what’s this guy’s deal anyway!?!  I mean, I read that he likes to go around and give the ladies the human version of the worms under the alias Ron Mexico.  He likes to take water bottles full of wacky tobbacky smellin’ water onto planes, too.  He will even give his own hometown fans the finger while walking down the sideline… hey, I don’t even have fingers and I still know that’s rude!  I hear this guy’s little brother Marcus isn’t much brighter, either.  Ya know, I guess it just goes to show you there are some real bad apples out there.  I would even go so far as to call this guy a mutt if he were a dog.

Perhaps his punishment should be to fight a Lion or Tiger, or a room full of boxers or pit bulls… if he’s actually guilty… remember, PEOPLE are innocent till proven guilty… on the other hand, we PUPPIES are innocent even if guilty   But regardless whether he’s innocent or guilty, my fellow canines were tortured and killed on his property.  If he didn’t have a hand in it, he should have kept a closer eye on his land so my relatives wouldn’t have died.  Because of that, he’s still in my doghouse. 

Rub my belly *I need it after hearing about this story*… leave me some comments!

By the way, the picture above came from this really cool website called The Onion.  I can’t take any credit or claim ownership of it… but it’s a great photo of this loser!

Sorry for all the swearing in this one… I got pretty upset about the story and my censor had to replace some key words with RUFF, ARF, and BARK.  This is still a family-oriented website and I hope you understand why I’m emotional about this topic!

By popular demand I have uploaded some new photos of yours truly.  Special thanks goes out to Ariane for emailing those so I can share them with the world.  You will find the new photos under the heading Lounging Around as I didn’t want to have two pages of photos and both of them with the heading Photos. 

 I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do this, I was hoping you humans wouldn’t be so lazy that you would just voluntarily submit comments and praise as you like to call it.  But I have found that humans respond best to negative reinforcement.  You don’t do something unless you’re threatened that something bad will happen otherwise.  SO… I need to ask you one last time for some comments and nice remarks on my pages and my blog posts.  It’s that wonderful praise that keeps me going and makes me want to write more and add more photos!

That being said…

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I constantly struggle with this concept of eternity.  Why am I wasting so much time being good (other than the immediate gratification that Beggin Strips provides), if I get to go to heaven anyway?!  Perhaps I am missing the fine print.  What if all dogs don’t go to heaven?!  Is there a puppy purgatory?!  Are bad dogs sent back to earth to serve a 7 life prison sentence as a cat… 

Perhaps I am being too philosophical about all this, but I like the idea that when I finally chew my last bone it will only lead me to a place that has an endless supply of rawhide.  With no way of knowing I guess the only thing I can do is make the best of my time here on earth and wag my tail to the fullest.

Speaking of waggin’ the ‘ol tail… not to toot my own horn or anything, but please take note that I have a few new pictures to share with you.  I would like to personally thank and lick my good friend Ariane for snapping these photos and emailing them to me. 

As I continue to post more photos I realized that most of these are just glamour shots of me.  That being said, I would like to start getting some group photos up here… that means that when I see you guys, whether it’s at my house or around town, we need to get a photo together so I can put it on the website and save it in my Book of Scraps.  I know you humans call it a scrapbook but I’m a dog… I save scraps… hence, it’s a book of scraps.  Table scraps… now those are my favorite.  If you could, bring me some of those when you come over.  We’ll snap some photos and take our pictures, too!  It’ll be a great time!  Rub my belly, leave me some comments…