My master often gets frustrated with me on our long walks around the lake at Winton Woods.   I don’t get out of the house much, since someone feels the need to leave from 8 to 5 every day during the week.  And when I do get to go outside, I like to go exploring.  Life is too short to walk around with your nose in the air like your some kind of Cockapoo or Shitzadoodle.  Sorry, it was hard to find an article/picture of a shitzadoodle… if you click on the name you have to scroll down the page to the “Happy Ending” on August 12th, 2004… yeah, Happy Ending.  I know, I know… a Happy Ending for a Shitzadoodle.  The thought of it bothered me too. 

 Anyway, considering I am only 6 inches off of the ground and have a heightened sense of smell I think it’s only fair that my master cuts me a little slack and let’s me investigate things that I come across during our walk.  That, and I like to eat ants so he could allow me that one vice.  I know I’m slow… it takes us nearly an hour and a half to walk around the lake at Winton Woods.  But I have short legs and I need to stop and smell the turf every hundred feet or so.  What do you people think?  Is it fair to keep me trapped in the kitchen all day and then expect me to do a lap around the woods in a half an hour?! 

Let me know what you think I can do to keep the master from breaking my neck by pulling on my leash when we’re out walking!!!

Manipulative, self-centered felines.  Rather than naming them felines they should be called felons.  It’s a crime how they treat their masters.  I found this little clip out on the Internet and felt it was important to share it with the rest of you.  I spend all day acting as guard dog.  I watch the house while my master is at work, even lay awake at night listening for strange noises and intruders.  It’s a thank-less job but I know that what I do is important and meaningful in this world.  Ok, so it’s not totally thank-less.  I do get the occasional treat, belly rub, and pretty much all the chew toys I can handle.  Those things help get me through the day, ya know… but these cats, someone needs to wake up and realize they are a drain on our society.  Let’s create a list of chores and put them to work!  Just don’t let them be in charge of cleaning the aquarium.

On a side note:  I received some negative feedback from this Bryan character about my website.  His comments were directed more toward my master and I didn’t appreciate his tone.  He obviously can’t read very well.  This is not my master’s website.  Bryan should have visited my master’s website if he had comments for him. 

I did a little more digging into who this goofy Bryan character is.  It came as no surprise to me when I learned that Bryan has a cat.  That’s right.  Bryan is harboring one of these felons and probably conspiring against puppies just like ‘ol Bob Barker.  We need to put Bryan in his place.  We should all be vigilant against such oppressive remarks, let’s unite and show him the error of his ways by emailing him and expressing our concern for his ownership of a cat.  He will probably try to make up some kind of excuse like it was a gift or something, but we know those creatures are manipulative and probably over-powered his more limited brain capacity.  Don’t worry Bryan, we will try to bring you back to reality!  Let us help you.

Update 7/11/07:  Bryan emailed my master and complained about his email address being posted to this website… well, Bryan, I guess we learned a valuable lesson that if you’re going to leave a dog negative comments… that’s right, a poor defense-less puppy… then you might want to do it anonymously and not leave your email address!!!  I bet you’re one of those sickos that goes around at Christmas time telling little human children that Santa doesn’t exist.  Why doesn’t this surprise me coming from a cat lover… anyway, if you still want to send Bryan email, you can do so by sending it through the care of my master.  I have replaced Bryan’s email address with my master’s email address in the links above.  ~Garb.

I have never met this Bob Barker fellow, but you would think with a last name like Barker he would be more friendly toward man’s best friend.  Apparently our friendship wasn’t enough for ‘ol Bob.  He has been trying to get millions of people to cut off our puppy parts for numerous years now.  Why, Bob?!  Why!?! 

One can only imagine what kind of tragic event he must’ve went through as a child to turn him against harmless little puppies.  Or perhaps Bob never had a puppy.  If Bob had his way with my mom, she would’ve never had me and my siblings.  In fact, he considers all my sisters and me nothing but litter… garbage, he thinks we’re garbage… waste strewn along the highway. 

I know he’s retired now but I can’t help but think he might be working behind the scenes and trying to come after more of my helpless, defenseless friends.  This is to put you on notice, Bob.  You’re officially in my Doghouse.  And until you call off the senseless destruction of my puppy parts, I will not so much as wag my tail at you nor your beauties.

Let it go Bob.  It’s time to let the healing begin.  The cats… now that’s where we could use some additional control.  Perhaps you could push for them to all be de-clawed?  Think about it Bob.  What hurts more, a basket full of puppies?  Or an evil cat scratching away at your soft, butter-like skin.  De-claw the cats Bob.  De-claw the cats.

Rub my belly… leave me some comments!

I want to start a revolution.  It makes me sad that Earth Day is only once a year.  We get to live on this planet 365 days and we only celebrate the wonderful planet once during that time?!  I think Earth Day should be monthly.  I would like to see 12 new trees planted each year instead of just one.  Just thinking about how lucky I am to be on this planet makes my eyes water and my tail twitch against the ground. 

Those trees do so much for me:

They provide all the sticks I can possiby chew.

They provide me with some much needed shelter when it’s scorching hot outside (hey, I’m wearing a fur coat ARFhole!)

They house those nut-job squirrels that I like to chase.  And unfortunately the trees protect those pesky birds that I can never catch, too.  One day Robin… one day…

Let’s plant a tree this month.  Let me know when you do this and I will be happy to come water it for you.

Editor’s Note:  My master tells me this is a “family-friendly” website so I am not allowed to cuss.  Thus he is making me replace all curse words with ARF, WOOF, BARK, and so forth.  He insists this is to protect the puppies’ ears out there.  I think he’s full of BARK.

~Garbanzo