As someone pointed out in the comments section of my website, I am naked in the photo of me blogging (July 24th post).  It’s true, I admit it… and I’m not ashamed.  I like to blog in the buff.  I am a free spirit.  I enjoy the cool breeze from the central air blowing through the fur that’s between my toes.  I would rather chew on my collar and the jingle-y things hanging from it instead of wearing it.  Although if I MUST wear a collar, which I’m at least required to do so at Winton Woods, I am glad I have a sporty little Miami University collar.  I only wish the Reds were doing better this season so I wasn’t so embarrassed to wear that one.

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I took yesterday off from blogging to chew on a femur bone that my good friends (Rob, Tricia, Andrew, and Aggie) were kind enough to give me as a doghouse warming gift.

I realized that while I have numerous photos available for you to view, most of these are staged shots or poses.  I decided I should post an action shot of me actually blogging. 

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I’m sure most of us would agree that Lassie really paved the way for animal actors in America.  I mean, the dog had its own self-titled show.  At least Lassie paved the way for us canines.  Mr. Ed was there to help the equestrian folks out but for us pups, we really look up to the old sheep herder as a pioneer.  After Lassie (the tv show) we still had to wait quite a while till we got Rin Tin Tin K-9 Cop and the German Shepherds just don’t do the acting gig quite as well as the rest of us.  Let’s face it, Rinny wasn’t exactly a canine version of McGuiver or anything.  But I guess Lassie (the dog) set the bar pretty high for the rest of us… I mean, the dog knew how to get a kid out of well… think about that for a second.  We send entire fire departments out to do that kind of stuff these days!

Sure we’ve had some film success, too, so our canine qualities are not just limited to after school specials and sit coms.  I have heard many good things of the feature dogs in Turner & Hooch, 101 Dalmations, Beetoven (all million editions of them!), Air Bud (once again, a slew of movies with deviated titles), Milo & Otis, and Lady & the Tramp.  I could go on and on about how we have propped up the film industry for years… working for literally scraps.

After Rin Tin Tin, we really didn’t see a great stand out canine in show business until Frasier came along.  Eddie, the dog on the show, provided the comic relief.  Without him, it would have been a lifeless show about pyschology and a series of one mid-life crisis after another.  Eddie, whose real name was Moose, was a Jack Russell Terrier that I admire for his decade-long career in show business.  May he rest in peace.

It’s because of my admiration of Moose, and even his son Enzo who also made appearances on Frasier in his dad’s place from time to time, that I have decided to launch my film career.  I intend on auditioning for a role in the upcoming movie Joy.  It was recently announced that this movie would be (at least partially) filmed here in the greater Cincinnati area.  I will keep you updated on my attempts at launching my film career.  Perhaps I will also evaluate my options for a singing career, too.

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What a fantastic day!!!  My master, bless his heart, took it upon himself to cut every single branch that he could possibly reach off of the two pine trees behind our house today…

It literally rained sticks for 3 hours.

My tail hurts from wagging so much.  My master’s tail hurts from trimming those trees!

Then to top it off… we got to go for a ride in the car :-D  Yippeee

Washed the car, took a nice long walk around the neighborhood so I could smell everything… yeah, I like the weekends.  It’s days like this that I’m thankful that I’m a puppy!

Oh, I found a website where they make furniture out of sticks.  Sticks.com makes all sorts of edible furniture.  I’m hoping for a comfy ottoman to lay on!  Perhaps my master will make good use of all those sticks in our backyard and build some edible furniture.  Well, it might not be edible to him, but furniture made out of sticks… it’s like those plates and cups that you can eat!  It would be edible furniture for me at least.

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I had never heard of this Michael Vick guy until just yesterday, but already I don’t like him.  Apparently he has a pretty RUFFed up sense of fun and entertainment.  What kind of sick ARFggot goes around making dogs fight each other till one of them dies, only to then kill the winner if he or she is too wounded to fight another day?!  This sick BARKhole, that’s who.

So what’s this guy’s deal anyway!?!  I mean, I read that he likes to go around and give the ladies the human version of the worms under the alias Ron Mexico.  He likes to take water bottles full of wacky tobbacky smellin’ water onto planes, too.  He will even give his own hometown fans the finger while walking down the sideline… hey, I don’t even have fingers and I still know that’s rude!  I hear this guy’s little brother Marcus isn’t much brighter, either.  Ya know, I guess it just goes to show you there are some real bad apples out there.  I would even go so far as to call this guy a mutt if he were a dog.

Perhaps his punishment should be to fight a Lion or Tiger, or a room full of boxers or pit bulls… if he’s actually guilty… remember, PEOPLE are innocent till proven guilty… on the other hand, we PUPPIES are innocent even if guilty   But regardless whether he’s innocent or guilty, my fellow canines were tortured and killed on his property.  If he didn’t have a hand in it, he should have kept a closer eye on his land so my relatives wouldn’t have died.  Because of that, he’s still in my doghouse. 

Rub my belly *I need it after hearing about this story*… leave me some comments!

By the way, the picture above came from this really cool website called The Onion.  I can’t take any credit or claim ownership of it… but it’s a great photo of this loser!

Sorry for all the swearing in this one… I got pretty upset about the story and my censor had to replace some key words with RUFF, ARF, and BARK.  This is still a family-oriented website and I hope you understand why I’m emotional about this topic!

By popular demand I have uploaded some new photos of yours truly.  Special thanks goes out to Ariane for emailing those so I can share them with the world.  You will find the new photos under the heading Lounging Around as I didn’t want to have two pages of photos and both of them with the heading Photos. 

 I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do this, I was hoping you humans wouldn’t be so lazy that you would just voluntarily submit comments and praise as you like to call it.  But I have found that humans respond best to negative reinforcement.  You don’t do something unless you’re threatened that something bad will happen otherwise.  SO… I need to ask you one last time for some comments and nice remarks on my pages and my blog posts.  It’s that wonderful praise that keeps me going and makes me want to write more and add more photos!

That being said…

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I constantly struggle with this concept of eternity.  Why am I wasting so much time being good (other than the immediate gratification that Beggin Strips provides), if I get to go to heaven anyway?!  Perhaps I am missing the fine print.  What if all dogs don’t go to heaven?!  Is there a puppy purgatory?!  Are bad dogs sent back to earth to serve a 7 life prison sentence as a cat… 

Perhaps I am being too philosophical about all this, but I like the idea that when I finally chew my last bone it will only lead me to a place that has an endless supply of rawhide.  With no way of knowing I guess the only thing I can do is make the best of my time here on earth and wag my tail to the fullest.

Speaking of waggin’ the ‘ol tail… not to toot my own horn or anything, but please take note that I have a few new pictures to share with you.  I would like to personally thank and lick my good friend Ariane for snapping these photos and emailing them to me. 

As I continue to post more photos I realized that most of these are just glamour shots of me.  That being said, I would like to start getting some group photos up here… that means that when I see you guys, whether it’s at my house or around town, we need to get a photo together so I can put it on the website and save it in my Book of Scraps.  I know you humans call it a scrapbook but I’m a dog… I save scraps… hence, it’s a book of scraps.  Table scraps… now those are my favorite.  If you could, bring me some of those when you come over.  We’ll snap some photos and take our pictures, too!  It’ll be a great time!  Rub my belly, leave me some comments…

It seems like ever since I started this website I have been receiving more attention, treats, and petting.  Those things are nice, and I thank you all that have sent emails and visited my website, but WOOF sometimes the attention can get to you.

I had an incident happen to me lastnight when I was in the bathtub.  Now I can sympathize with the plight of Nick Lachey for having racy photos published of me.  Like Nick, Miss New Jersey, and Paris my rights have been violated but I feel it’s best to get out ahead of the media circus and deprive those people trying to profit from my body from having the benefit of doing so.  Therefore, I am taking the initiative to go ahead and publish the photos so that the world can see them and the person responsible for taking the photos cannot profit from it.

Here they are, I understand this is the cost associated with my fame and I’m comfortable enough with my body to share these with the world:

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Guess what this is?!  If you said a hamburger you are sorely mistaken.  In fact, to call the above pictured item ”meat” at all would probably be incorrect.  This… is Turkey Burger.  Follow up question: what is the one prohibited use of turkey (the actual meat)?  If you answered Turkey Burger! then you are correct!  Go ahead and wag your tail a little if you got that one right! 

Now… how do you spot a sucker at the grocery store or in a restaurant?  It’s the schmuck eating a turkey burger… and someone needs to bite his or her ankle.  These people need to know that turkey burger is not a suitable use for meat, and certainly not fit for consumption.  I’m a puppy and even I know that!!! 

I would never expect you to believe that my Beggin Strips treats are actually made out of bacon… sure, they’re the closest thing that I ever get to real human food but please, if you’re going to destroy meat at least give it to me instead of defiling perfectly good, eatable meat. 

At least I know when I walk up to my bowl in the morning that the food I am about to consume was never really something good that I could’ve possibly enjoyed.  BARK No, it was previously some leftover scraps from a meat packing plant, maybe some chickens that would no longer lay eggs, crippled horses and ponies, a little rice to hold everything together and presto! you have puppy chow! 

Why do you think they call it puppy chow?!  Chow is a word of Chinese origin dating back to around 1886 (Chinese Pidgin English according to Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, whatever those big words mean)… the dog food is imported from China (remember those news articles about them sending us tainted puppy food!)… You people…. scratch that… you Americans never cease to amaze me.  You buy your puppy food from a country where they eat puppies… hmm, this doesn’t sound like a good idea.  They call it chow because there are probably some actual Chow Chow puppies mixed in.

Let’s learn something from this tainted dog food debacle.  Let’s not turn perfectly good turkey into a confection called turkey burger and let’s not import our dog food from a country where the eat dogs.

Editorial Note:  I cannot claim ownership of or take credit for the Turkey Burger Photo posted above.  This was found by using Google and searching for Turkey Burger.  I came across a website called Off the Broiler.  The Website’s author is Jason Perlow.  He has some good stuff on there.  Check him out, then go make a fancy dish, put the fancy dish in the car, and come visit me!

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As some of you may know, I have a neighbor named Betty.  I can’t quite put my paw on it but there’s just something about her that makes me wag my tail.  Everytime she comes outside to water her plants or pick blueberries in her backyard I just have to be right there by her side.

Our society is one that frowns on anything outside the norm.  If people saw me with Betty instead of my master they just wouldn’t understand it.  I mean, she is 574 in dog years (give or take 7), and I am only about 3.5 in people years.  One the surface it would seem like we have nothing in common.  But she likes to pet me, and she likes it when I come running up to her and get between her and the Gardenias that she has planted in her backyard.  We usually pull weeds together and I help her get rid of any unwanted sticks.

I can’t help but think she is always coming outside to see me.  Everytime I go outside she is moments later coming out to see me and talk to my master.  She has a nice hummingbird feeder that I need her to mount just a little lower to the ground.  It’s Sunday so she’ll probably be watering the flowers in the evening.  It’s time for my nap so I will be well rested when it’s time to go out and see Betty.  I know if I don’t see her today though, I will get to see her tomorrow when the mailman comes. 

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